My least favourite thing is driving with a toddler,
The whinging, the wailing, the whining.
As soon as we hit the first tiny traffic jam,
She turns into that kid from The Shining.
My least favourite thing is driving with a toddler,
We all know it’s going to be shit.
As soon as starts throwing Iggle Piggle at the wind-screen.
I’m looking for someone to hit.
My least favourite thing is driving with a toddler,
The constant bribery with snacks.
The moment I realise I’ve gone overboard with rice cakes,
And she sprays baby-chunks all down our backs.
My least favourite thing is driving with a toddler,
Remembering when the the car just made her sleep…
Now it’s the ultimate test of will-power and patience,
A private Hell with ‘Old MacDonald’ on repeat.
My least favourite thing is driving with a toddler,
The feeling of dread when you know you’ll have to stop.
And somehow un-weld that nappy from her bum-cheeks,
Getting her back in that carseat will be a two-man job.
My least favourite thing is driving with a toddler,
Within an hour I’m using very naughty words.
And decide she can have whatever KEEPS HER F@*KING QUIET,
Last resort; the husband’s iPhone with angry birds.
My least favourite thing is driving with a toddler,
Quite frankly no trip is worth the pain.
Never drive under the influence of a one-year-old,
Just stay at home, drinking gin, and remain sane.
#ginsanity
#oneyearoldsarebadforyourhealth
#gin
Haha this is so funny. Bunny has always been good in the car but we shall see what the twins bring when they reach toddlerdom!
Thanks for linking up to Wednesday Words xx
ReplyWow – with two I'd be letting me husband drive and getting a cab. Separately. Everywhere. 🙂 xx
ReplyBuy a portable in car DVD player from Amazon. Keeps them quiet for the whole journey!
I like ur thinking 😉 however I have gone a step up and insisted our be t car has DVD screens in the headrests… I gave birth, he has to buy me the most pimped out mummy wagon I can find… Seems fair to me :))) x
ReplyMy daughter was pretty much always good, my son is not! He hates being strapped into anything..I'm a recluse 😉
ReplyMe too… Stick within a mile until they're 14… Only way! Lol xxx
ReplyHa brilliant. This is me. Times two. You have my every sympathy.
ReplyHa 😉 nuff respect x u have this times two. Gin in the post x 😉
ReplyBrilliant. And sooooo true!
ReplyToooooooooooo true 😉 *shudders* lol xx thanks for commenting xx
ReplyCompletely agree. We shouldn't use mobile phones, eat whilst driving etc, but it's perfectly legal for me to drive with two sleep-deprived 2 year olds in the back of the car.
ReplyOh yeah – cos they're not distracting in the slightest… lol xx
ReplySo comically true! I especially love the impact of the last verse!
ReplyThank you 😉 glad to have tickled you x
ReplyOh dear, I remember it well – the wrestle into the car seat and stopping at every services 🙁 The great news is, it doesn't get any easier. Travelling with kids is awful, whatever their age.
ReplyLol – well there's something to look forward to then! Hahaha x I'm just gonna leave her at home from now on… 😉
ReplySo true it can be such a harrasing experience ! I tend to just up the music and let em whale lol
Replyoh yes – drown em out and put your foot down! only way 🙂 lol thanks for the comment
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