They might be naked. But that doesn’t mean they can’t sneak a biro in… And just as you’ve relaxed… BOOM. Bic to the face. Again.
Yes. Your toothbrush is a bath toy. Deal with it. At least they’re not using it to clean the toilet rim. Again.
Water in the bath is a soapy, warm, splashy bowl of love… water from the shower-head is RAIN OF DEATH AND WILL NOT BE TOLERATED IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
They won’t eat your home-cooking, but they will happily down half a bottle of Tresemme followed by a Radox Muscle Soak chaser…
Don’t get too close to them with your face… it’s a trap. A soapy Octopal-to-the-eye related trap.
It’s like they can’t smell their own farts… Try not to taste the air or let your eyes water… it shows weakness…. And once they’ve seen you’re weak, they’ll follow through…
Yes, they can turn on the taps. And no, it’s never the shitting cold one. Distract them with the toothbrush and if necessary pull out the ‘big guns’ – i.e. the cotton buds box and a tampon.
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, think you can have a quick wee. They WILL eat a cotton bud and scold Philip the Duck under the hot tap.
Never touch Philip the Duck. It’s too late for him now…
You were wrong. Wet hugs ARE the best.
Your bath-to-change-table window is 33 seconds. Push this and you are in serious ‘shart’ territory.
You can hide your gin in the squirty hippo*
*this is not exclusive to bath-time
*or hippos
#squirtyhippogin
#radoxchaser
Ha, Mojo noms lavender bubble bath and sponges – quite the refined taste. Hilarious post, captures bath time soooooo well!
lol – well thanks 😉 Loving the name change. I also wish to be known only as gin from now on… ha! xx
Brilliant post! I particularly love the showerhead rain of death xx
Thank you xxx ha! I know right… what is the deal with that! Thanks for the comment xx
Bath time at your house sounds ACE; for your daughter, that is, not for you, obvs. Sounds traumatic for you, hence the need for the gin hippo 😉 Great post xx
yeah – she loves it. I cry. It's the story of my life really… lol 😉 x
Hahahaaaaa this is so funny. But my son has never ever used my OHs toothbrush to clean the bath. Ahem. *looks innocent*
lol – after posting this earlier I have noticed my husband has hidden his toothbrush… #notacioncidence me thinks… ha! xx thanks for stopping by and commenting xxx
Hilarious and oh so true. Love that the duck is called Phillip. We have a crocodile called Colin. As you do 🙂
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lol 😉 thanks! – we have a snail called Colin, but same sort of thing… they all get adult names… keeps me sane… well, drunk… whatever… hahaha x
And it is for these exact reasons why my husband is in charge of bathing the toddler. I call it 'bonding time', he calls it 'hell'.
ReplyHell… Bonding… Same thing really :))) xx
Seriously why do they insist on drinking soapy bath water out of a boat???
I have to wash harry and the dinosaurs (yes the whole bucketful) before i can get near my son with the soap!!
Hahaha 😉 love it x when Philip the Duck goes to quacky-heaven I'll consider recruiting some ducks :))) lol xxx