Lady Maintenance. A Pregnant Guide via the Medium of Rhyme…

Here is a poem, all about maintaining,

Your bits and your bobs, while you’re growing a baby.
Some let it all hang out, and some keep it neat.
Others couldn’t give a shit, while they can’t even see their feet.
Some choose a razor, to trim up their pins,
Which can get a bit gory, for the sake of smooth limbs.
From ankle to calf area, the damage is minimal,
But once you reach dangly bits, it’s like being attacked by an animal…
Some leave it to the pros, and just opt for waxing,
If you can’t see what’s going on, it’s not really happening.
Somewhere in that lady forest, is your long lost vagina.
With the aid of the sticky stuff, you can once again find her.
Some get the cream out, to frazzle those hairs,
A bit too close for comfort for me, with your labia right there…
Some ask a husband, to go down and give things a snip,
Perhaps some bedtime tweezer-ing, to tidy up those nips.
So however you do it, there’s ways of maintaining,
Your bits and bobs, without too much complaining.
But frankly me and my fanny, have got plenty to get through,
Like producing a f@*king human, that’s more than enough to do…



  1. Tom IdeasforDads October 23, 2014
  2. The Brick Castle October 23, 2014
  3. Wry Mummy October 23, 2014
  4. Mardy Kerrie October 25, 2014
  5. SarahMummy October 27, 2014
  6. Laura Mummy to Boyz October 29, 2014

Leave a Reply to Laura Mummy to Boyz Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.