I hate lifts. And I hate that as a person permanently
attached to a pram handle I have no choice but to use them on a daily basis.
But the one thing I hate more than lifts is the people who use them for
absolutely no reason??? Perfectly able-bodied, fit, healthy, free-handed, childless,
upright idiots for whom stairs are no issue whatsoever, yet who seem to LOVE
lift travel so much they are happy to cause seven-buggy-deep tailbacks at the
only two-person lift in Debenhams.
I have no choice but to cram me, baby, Sophie-the-Giraffe and
Molly Dolly into the tiny mirrored box of doom which takes us to the Promised
Land above ground level, but you… you are able to run freely between the
aisles and race idly from floor to floor, squeeze through impossible gaps and
change direction at the drop of a hat. Why do you not take advantage of this gift
and dance the dance of stair-stepping joy? Why don’t you get the hint as I
stand behind you tutting and issuing a series of particularly stabby
eye-daggers…
Molly Dolly into the tiny mirrored box of doom which takes us to the Promised
Land above ground level, but you… you are able to run freely between the
aisles and race idly from floor to floor, squeeze through impossible gaps and
change direction at the drop of a hat. Why do you not take advantage of this gift
and dance the dance of stair-stepping joy? Why don’t you get the hint as I
stand behind you tutting and issuing a series of particularly stabby
eye-daggers…
Well. For you and you alone, I have taught my baby to fart on
demand in confined spaces. The sort of farts you can actually taste…
demand in confined spaces. The sort of farts you can actually taste…
I look forward to our next meeting. #twats
Genius.
Reply*dusts off shoulders* well cheers 😉 x
ReplyBrilliant post. They are also the people who look at baby (who is dressed in a bright pink coat) and say 'ah bless isn't HE a cheeky little chap'…SHE'S a girl, now fark off!!
ReplyHaha! That's so true! I get that ALL the time :/ Don't even get me started on why the bloomin department stores put the baby departments on anything but the ground floor anyway!!!! Lol x
ReplyLMAO….I have been known to give a good Paddington stare to many life users who have the choice to actually walk up the stairs too!
Replygood work #mumsunite lol xx
ReplyHa! Love this post! I hate lifts sooo much, they literally bring on panic attacks – rather limits where I go with Miss C (will only go in glass lifts where people can see me!) – but also totally agree about able-bodied child-free people using them. Who would want to given the choice?! Weirdos!
ReplyI know?! I got stuck in one with baby when she was about 6 weeks old – never had issues with them before now i HATE them. Unfortunately they are a must-do with a buggy. boo. :/
Reply