*advance warning* mother of all rants ahead – expect colourful language and a whole lot of vagina.
I need to say this.
Why the fuck does your vagina become public arsing property as soon as you squeeze a human out of it?
By this I mean, why does everyone get to ask you REPEATEDLY when you will be having another baby, as soon as your child passes the age of 18 shitting months?!
The more I think about it, the more it winds me up… Not because I mind people I ACTUALLY KNOW knowing when I think I might be have another child, (I shall be informing my husband in due course about the point his sperm will be required… probably…) It’s more the people on the periphery; the distant relatives, the friends of friends, the ex-colleagues who stalk your facebook timeline and occasionally accidentally ‘like’ a photo of you in a bikini on holiday…. #awkward… and the fucking postman. Or those who haven’t even met me… they’re just behind me in the basket till queue at Waitrose, or sitting opposite me as I stuff cake in my face at Costa, or pouring me a gin at the pub… why do you think this is an appropriate question!?! Would you like to analyse my ovulation app, or perhaps you’d be happier if I text you each time I have sex so you can keep track for your-bastard-self… Jeeeeeeezzz.
How do they know I don’t only want one child? How do they know there isn’t some deeply sensitive issue for me surrounding childbirth (no that’s not some weird way of describing a vagina) or that I may not actually be able to have another baby…? IT’S FUCKING RUDE.
I think because I’ve got friends, and friends of friends, and known people, who are in these types of situations, I imagine myself in their shoes being forced to tell almost strangers deeply personal information about themselves purely to make ‘polite conversation’. And that shit makes me sad.
So to all you fuckers out there thinking about tapping that lady with the toddler on the shoulder in the post office queue to ask if she’s ready for the ‘next one’…
Talk about the weather or some shit instead. Because next time you’ll be getting a punch to the throat quicker than I can say botched fanny stitches and a wonky episiotomy.
Sorry about that… *clears throat and gets back to morning gin activities*
I had this question when my twins were a week old… A FUCKING WEEK! Hubs was lucky I hadn't torn of his penis with a rusty spoon at that point let alone consider letting him put it anywhere near me.Reply
But yes, people are rude, and self centred to think they have the right to ask such a personal question, and it really is.
Wow – a week!? This is the point where you're still considering shoving them back in…! I would have ended up head-butting someone… lol xxReply
As you say, why wouldn't anyone want an only child??? The fact is, most of us only have more because we are too dazed and confused, to bat of our other half's advances! I was pregnant again when my first was only 9 months….*weeps*Reply
haha – well, at least it was all over and done with fairly quick eh! Now, you'll have everyone constantly asking you when the 3rd one is coming… lolReply
I get this too and we are only having one. They act like it's child cruelty to willing have an only child xReply
Once you're parents, everyone seems to think they know best… When really the EXACT OPPOSITE is true. lol xxxReply
I say FUCK FUCK FUCK them (I like joining in on anything sweary). It is rude but not as rude as pointing at my stomach and saying when is it due and having to bitch slap them across the face and say this is a cake and beer baby ya fugger. Hands over the gin in sisterly solidarity. xxxxxReply
LMAO. Yes. That wins. #passesgiantginbarrel x we can drink it together! lol xReply
And buy designer maternity clothes for our bellies (and bottles). That will stop people asking #longestgestationperiodeverReply
Oh fuck yes 😉 ROFL xReply
I use to hate being ask if I was planning on breast feeding when I was pregnant, especially when men asked me!! Like what I do with my boobs has anything to do with them GrrrrReply
It is ridiculous that your body is public property once you're pregnant… Suddenly everyone's an expert! LolReply
H aha ha – so true! I just tend to say to whoever asks that yes, of course if they can pick up the nursery bill 😉Reply
Haha 😉 now wouldn't that be nice… XxReply
I spent 3 years having IVF treatment, only my closest friends knew, but it made me so aware of how bloody rudely nosey everyone is when it comes to having children. I was quietly going through my own personal misery and complete strangers would say "ooooh you'd better get your skates on and have some babies!" "don't you want any children?" and a whole host of other corkers. FUCK OFF. I spent a lot of those years wanting to punch people. Really hard. Grrrr…Reply
THAT is exactly what I'm talking about! As if you wanted to have to explain that to anyone! You're so right – they can all FUCK OFF. On a happier note, I'm so glad you have had your little miracle now xxxReply
I don't believe I was ever asked when I was going to have another baby.Reply
You were one of the lucky ones 😉 I get really fed up with it! I juts wish people would mind their won business. Would much rather NOT be asked all the time! lol xxReply
I think, honestly people (especially those aforementioned)-not close friends etc are usually making polite conversation and it's the obvious question. Yes it's irritating because as you said you might not want another or can't but it happens with two..I often get asked when I want a third and with c-sections, it's seems it's my stomach that's public property!
I usually laugh it off but who knows, I might have four or no more! When they ask, make a joke or ask your vagina (awkward) and change the subject. Fab post!Reply
LOVE IT – I am definitely asking my vagina from now on… lol x thanks for such an honest comment :))) xReply
I love this! Husband's boss got the right arse when someone said "well what if your daughter wants a brother or sister?" and quite rightly. I'm pregnant with twins and I'm already getting a lot of "do you think you'll have any more?"
Also, and this is probably a specific twin thing, I get lots of "was it a natural pregnancy?" Funny thing is this sometimes comes from much older ladies with twins, so I'm more than tempted to reply with "yes thanks, I'm guessing yours wasn't?"
People are just so nosey!Reply
Wow – I never knew someone would actually ask that to a twin-mummy??!! That is incredibly personal! Crazy… feel like I don't have it so bad now with my question asking! lol xxReply
Well said! Horribly rude at the best of times, but unfortunately I know from first-hand experience how much worse it is if you've had a stillborn baby. Two sets of "friends" (not any more) actually argued IN FRONT OF ME whether you should have another straight away or wait a whileReply
That is horrific – I'm glad to hear they are no longer friends of yours… why do people go mad when it comes to other people's parenting business… it's madness xReply
And I was very sorry to read that you had that horrible experience, and equally as happy to read you got through it and have two beautiful boys now! Thank you for commenting xxxReply
Ps – we now have two gorgeous boys 🙂Reply
This is my most hated question of all the ridiculous questions in question land! The health risks to having another baby are super high so we made the decision not to have another. We would love one though – gutted! I normally say we can't have another or share the highlights of my 47 hour labour! You SO need some responses for people that ask 🙂Reply
And it's ridiculous u are put in the situation where u need to justify yourself! Thank you for being so honest in your comments xxx your little Pod is amazing xxxReply
AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!!!! I get this ALL THE TIME. My son will be two in April and I've been getting it since he was BORN!
I am only having one child. I was told I might not concieve at all (I have PCOS) and the fact that I did, naturally and bloody quickly was (in my eyes) amazing. But I hated pregnancy, it did nasty things to me and my health and post baby to my husbands mind (seriously – I mean more than just "arrrggghh where's my life gone?"). Another baby would be plain irresponsible.
But all that aside I ONLY EVER WANTED ONE ANYWAY! But I have to justify this to everyone – you're right. I've had nastier comments about only wanting one child than I got when I didn't have any. I'm honest with people, I tell them there will be no more little Savages and they (inc strangers) feel qualified to pass judgement. WTF?!
Thanks for the post and sorry for the shouting! Man it grinds my gears!
Loving the blog xx
I can totally sympathise x it's one of my real bug-bears! Thank you for such an open response xxx I can see I've really hit on something here so I'm happy to give you a chance to vent! Lol xxxReply
Hahaha yeah sorry about that 🙂Reply
haha – don't apologise! It's great to get some real responses :))) x thank you for sharing xxxReply
Ohhhhh THIS!!! A "relative" was asking if I had "any good news" every 3 or 4 weeks at one point till I realised what she was asking me. It was like shut the hell up!!!! Arrfgggh. Then I've been told not to leave too big a gap because time is ticking on (cue 1960s style Batman Kerrang and Wallop).Reply
Haha – Do think they actually think that there intervention and opinion will make a difference to your family planning…?! lol! x If one more person says 'time is ticking' to me I may well lose it completely and go on an American Psycho style rampage… lol xxxReply
I hate it when people who are practically strangers ask. If they spent one night with Bob they'd know why I wasn't having another yet. xReply
HA! Yes, perhaps they are unaware of what toddlers are actually like once they travel in packs… *faints a bit* lol xxReply
As soon as our no.7 was born everyone started asking us if we were having another one – everyone. I got so bored of saying "we're not actually planning on it" that eventually I just started saying "well, we had a shag last night, you never know"…Reply
Hahahaha – I am going to have to collate these responses and make a post out of them! lol x thanks for the comment lovely xxx *sniggers*Reply
After my second the consultant said to me "you can not have any more" which was more than fine by me. So every time people asked if there was going to be a 3rd I replied with "the consultant said I mustn't have any more because it could cause permanent pelvic damage" and then they shut up. Quickly. The word pelvic can make men cringe if delivered in the correct tone of voice!Reply
Ha! Nothing like a good pelvic conversation to hush the idiots… lol xReply
You are so on the money here lovely. I NEVER ask anyone other than very good friends, some people just have no social skills! xxReply
Thanks lovely 😉 having kids makes u realise that most people are twats. Fact. Lol xxxReply
YES!!! And you know what else annoys me, people asking if we are going to try again to get a girl, people were asking me this while I was holding my newborn.Reply
Nice. Way to let you enjoy the moment eh! *heavy sigh*.., lol x #idiotsReply
Yes to this but also f off to all those who ask if I'll go for number 3 to get a boy. I'd love 3 but I'd love 3 girls too. And also people who have one of each and say " so we don't need to try for a third.." I don't need to try for a 3rd because I have 2 girls, if we do it will be because we want a 3rd child in our world.Reply
People stink sometimes !!
Hahaha x yes totally agree! Stinky stinkers 😉 lol xxReply
Loving the comments almost as much as the post! We churned ours out pretty quickly, so didn't really have to deal with this, but I'm aware that there are plenty of people who are desperate for another child (or even a first one) and can't have one and it's a very personal and emotional matter. So everyone needs to just stay quiet about the whole thing. If there's 'good news' they'll hear it when the time is right.Reply
Yes, my thoughts exactly xxx thanks for commenting xx 🙂Reply
You know what's really depressing? When they stop asking you. Because it's obvious you're too old to have any more. Think on, my friend, you will remember me in 10 years time 😉Reply
Touché Missus 😉 lol xxxReply