Mummy misses that Friday feeling,
And getting totally nobbed in the pub.
Mummy misses those random nights,
Where you end up singing Spice Girls in a club.
Mummy misses lazy Sundays,
And strolling at her own pace in the park.
Mummy misses having an actual waistline,
And hips that stay in-line without stretch marks.
Mummy misses relaxing mealtimes,
And playing catch with someone who can ACTUALLY THROW.
Mummy misses wearing proper makeup,
And clothing that’s not dappled with Cheerios.
Mummy misses matching underwear,
And seeing her vagina without using a mirror.
When Mummy says NO, she means bastard NO,
And she can’t make that any bastard clearer.
Mummy misses magazines and mascara,
And having time to actually get bored.
But luckily Mummy is [email protected]*king awesome;
Did I mention Mummy won a mother-shitting award!
(Sorry, just had to get that in there… As I am now officially an award winning funny lady! #BiBs2014)
Brilliant as ever gorgeous! Clever lady 🙂 Well done on winning – you thoroughly deserved to (hope to see this on Prose for Thought 😉 ) and great to meet you too xReply
Thank you lovely! Was really lovely to meet you too 😉 xxxReply
hahaha! Brilliant!! Congrats to you! Very well deserved 🙂Reply
Thanks so much! xxxReply
Ha! Congratulations on the award. xxxReply
awww x thank you :)))
Congratulations! Was lovely to see you, even without the gin xReply
Oh gin… *sobs* lol x Thanks so much was great to see you too xxxReply
Did you win an award??? I never noticed.Reply
ha… I'll tweet you daily pics my love :))) xReply
So well deserved! Thanks for saying hello right at the start 🙂 Lovely to meet you and put a face and voice to the funnies on here! x
It was so nice to meet you too 🙂 I recognised you from your blog pics immediately! XxxReply
Lovely to finally meet you and I did not notice the cheeriosReply
Ha 😉 I remove them for special occasions :)))Reply
Did you win an award. I didn't realise ;). Love that mummy means bastard NO but can't imagine anyone takes much notice of her haha. So lovely to meet you in the flesh and hope we weren't annoying drunk shits xxxReply
You too! You and Steph were my lifesavers after pregnancy exhaustion took hold in the middle of a turkish meal… lol x Thank you! xxReply
Just noticed Brummy Ems did saw gag – cowbag ha xReply
pahahaha x great minds… 🙂Reply
What…..you won an award……..*crys into hankerchief*…….so proud 😉Reply
lol 😉 it was truly fab to meet you :))) #morepenis and all that xReply
Congratulations on winning your award, I am still on cloud nine over mine! x
Thank you! And to you!!! x It still hasn't really sunk in! Crazy times xx wish we'd had a chance to catch up properly – next year! xx
Well done on your award. Really well deserved!!!! Wish I'd found you at Britmums, it was like a mental weekend. Or day for me, I was only there Saturday!
Thanks! Wish we'd met – just too many people! Hope we meet at the next one :))) xReply
Love this! Congrats on the BIB 🙂Reply
Thanks :))) x
Still banging on about it?!?! ;))Reply
So happy for you lovely, thoroughly deserved! fab poem too xxx
Oh hell yeah…. I am gonna rinse this moment for as long as I bastard well can! Lol xxxReply
Congratulations! The babe and bump better listen now! You DO mean business when you say no….Reply
too right! lol xxx thank you :))) xReply
Go you! How on earth did I manage to not really speak to you all weekend? I spotted your fabulous jump suit and that was it! I don't think I made much sense. Well done to you lady – well deserved 🙂 x xReply
haha x well we did attest see if other in the flesh very briefly! lol x Thank you! xxxReply
…. and well done you! XReply
Woohoo! Thank you lovely xxxReply
I love the way you effortlessly weave expletives into verse – it's an important life skill and shows why the award is well deserved – congratulations! 🙂Reply
It was lovely to meet you – even though you say we didn't. I shall blame your hormones. I was with Ericka as you came in , right at the beginning and we had a big hug! You deserve the award – always really funny 🙂Reply