Pants are pointless.
Bras are futile.
Pants and bras together are some like kind of elaborate torture device attacking either end of my ever-expanding uterus. Simultaneously. In cotton-blend.
Pre-preggo WallyMummy would live it up in matching bra and knickers and everything. I know. Just like a real girl… Or one of those ones from telly… Or dreams… Or Narnia.
Frankly, these puppies were well past the ‘hoistable’ stage once the last milk vampire was finished with them… but following yet another expansion; my areolas are now the size of doughnuts, and the texture of lego… a little beyond the smoothing abilities of a standard M&S t-shirt bra.
My muffin-top has become a full blown cake-plateau. There is no knicker line that flatters spherical. And anyone who thinks their post-pregnancy perineum will so much as let them utter the word ‘thong’ has got a nasty surprise awaiting them.
And enjoy thongs while you can.
Because soon your vagina will just say no.
And your labia will eat them.
OMG in tears, I can relate to this so well! All my pants are now butt munched!!Reply
Your bum is hungriest during pregnancy. #truestory 🙂 lolReply
Oh so true. My old c section scar is being grated daily by my underwear and my bras are the cause of 90% of my heartburn. In a couple of weeks when I have my next c section I will be modeling the granny pants that reach up to my ribs. As if I won't loathe my body enough at that stage. 🙂Reply
ha! well exactly. fuck you nature! lol xxReply
ha ha. Stupid labias with their greedy horrible erm…lips… 🙂 xReply
haha – erm… yes 😉 lol xx
Bahahaha. #labia ps I love my post-birth massive pants. Now known as Sunday pants.Reply
Mine are known as weekday/weekend pants 🙂 except on bank holidays… then bank holiday pants. you get the picture… heehee xx
Sumo-squat? Are you kidding? I did one post-natal (within a week of the *whispers* birth) and all I can say is pelvic-no-more. I was feeling so good post preggers with the baby OUTSIDE of me so 'nature' (bitch) reigned me in with a reminder that my lady bits were never going to be the same again. Looking forward…. : )Reply
oh yeah… can't wait… lol 😉 xxReply
Ha ha ha I gave up thongs after my third…you've got another pregnancy to go yet lol!
wow – do you have some kind of secret…? It always feels like they're trying to enter me… pahaha xReply
Ha ha ha ha!! I have such an image of a labia monster. I am still in HUGE pants and my 'baby' is 19mths!!!! Oh the doom of being preggers eh? xxxxxReply
HUGE pants are my life. I have accepted thus 🙂 xxReply
Loving legoesque areolas and the thong eating labias 😉Reply
isn't pregnancy beautiful… 🙂Reply
HAHAHAHA THE LAST SENTENCE!!! xReply
Hahahahaha, I'm still bloody laughing! Brilliant xxReply
haha – thanks lovely 😉 xxxReply
It's excellent to hear it's going so well…. 😛Reply
heehee 😉 gotta see the funny side eh :))) xReply
I'm pregnant with my 4th I don't want to give up thongs!! :'( hahaReply
Lol! X and 4th time – wow x u r braver than me lady! Xxx
You paint a pretty picture! I shall indeed think of this post and sympathetic thoughts next time I see an expectant mum in full bloom!
you should! All those commando mummies with their flaps hanging out for comfort… 😉 xReply
UNTIL you have the repair job. Only then will you know true pant-based humiliation. Think cricket ball in soggy swimsuit…Reply
In the meantime, enjoy!
You paint the loveliest pictures… there's so much I haven't discovered yet… LMAO! xReply