We’ve all experienced the #ToddlerRage,
The super human strength of a tiny-tantrumming-two-year-old,
We all know the warning signs of #ToddlerRage,
The sobbing, the whining, the pleading.
Then Mummy takes a left hook to the fanny or the face,
And either way, someone ends up bleeding…
You’ve said NO to the TV, and NO to the sweets,
You know this is going to cost ya’…
The park was a disaster, the journey was worse,
And a badly-timed-toddler-poo just got you barred from Costa.
So we should all be wary of the #ToddlerRage,
With its screaming, and scratching, and floor-flops.
It can happen to the best of us – anytime, anywhere;
At the playground, the supermarket, and bus-stops…
So heed my words about the #ToddlerRage,
Protect your dignity, your eyes and vagina.
Soft-play, ice-cream and Frozen on DVD…
And you too can be a #ToddlerRage-Survivor.
#ToddlerRage
#gin
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| My hair straighteners – the victim of #ToddlerRage… |
I didn't even know that you could break straighteners… That's some #ToddlerRage! x
ReplyMy partner experienced our youngests' rage today, for the first time, when he decided not to take out her scooter AND the buggy on our day trip. The cruel fiend. I have to say, I did feel a little smug, as I've been telling him for weeks now what a nightmare she can be, when he's safely sitting in his nice office….
ReplyOn holiday last week our 3 year old upended the kitchen bin as the pasta he had refused to eat was now in it. The bin was full and deep down I quite admired his strength.
Although as a glasses wearer I can confirm it hurts when a remote control is thrown at you by a toddler and hits your nose.
ReplyOhhh RIP hair straighteners. With some kind of stroke of luck I've not been punched yet, the hubby has been socked in the eye a couple or more times though. I'm really praying z doesn't say "effing hell" anytime soon :-/
ReplyAh they do have superhuman strength don't they. My girls legs are stronger than my arms, so if they decide they don't want their nappies changed… well… it takes a while for me to win! x
ReplyRIP the straightners bab!!! Oh the doom of angry toddlers. My girl is just leaving those days and my boy is heading straight for them. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Only two years till it's over for me then. Sob xxx
ReplyToddler its an occupational hazard of parenting!!! Liam Gallagherisbt a patch on my eldests Divaness!!
ReplyThat should have said Toddler Rage….my brain is in danger of seizing up!!!
ReplyOh the rage. Be grateful that you're expecting a boy. Girls have the worst rages. My son never beats on me or my precious hair straighteners. xx
ReplyOh, they can be freakishly strong, can't they?!
ReplyHilarious, and oh so bloody true! 🙂 xx
ReplyNot the hair straighteners? Please noooooo! I reckon most things have fallen victim to the #toddlerrage but seriously, until you've seen the tween rage – you ain't seen nothing!
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