further embarrassment and all that…
First things first…
that wasn’t just a fart.
Secondly. It never
is… You should really know that by now anyway. Dressing me in white is
just tempting fate lady.
When I work out how
to get out of these scratch mitts… I will go straight for your eyes.
Dressing me up as a
Christmas Pudding on Boxing Day was both tasteless and humiliating. See
point above.
Do you actually enjoy neck-brie…?! Wipe me. Or face the hug-related cheesy-hair
consequences.
Jeeeez. Yes. I can smile… get f@*king over it already.
Although, that wasn’t a
smile. You’re gonna need to use Vanish on that.
No matter how many
neon toys you jingle around my face, it still won’t make any difference as
I CAN’T SEE BASTARD COLOURS YET YOU MENTAL WENCH.
Thanks for that
hour-long 3am feed. Now here’s 45 minutes worth back across your shoulder.
You’re welcome.
Oh…? We’re going to
visit someone…? Well in that case I shall sleep the entire time including
the outward and return journey, and then the second we get home. BOOM.
I’ll be all up in your shit.
Every time you
remove my nappy I will wee. EVERY TIME. NO MATTER WHAT. Unless you’re
waiting for me to wee. Then I won’t. Out of principal.
I don’t actually
know why I’m crying but the fact that you don’t know is making me beside myself. Oh wait. It was boobs again.
Seriously. You must
have enough photos now.
Oh and p.s. no-one
on facebook wants to f@*king see them either.
Hehe ahhhhh this screams back memories of z the first three months. I take it he's settled in very nicely? 🙂
ReplyI want to see them photos Wally cheese neck Boy as they are well cute. You are going to be a hand full – I am delighted by that as your mum will have much blog fodder haha xx
ReplyOh my gosh so sorry I missed the birth announcement, 3 months on. He is GORGEOUS! Loved this xx
ReplyHahaha love this!
ReplyOh the Vanish shits…man alive there were a lot of them! Well done, 3 months DONE xx
ReplyWell I for one LOVE the photos on fb!!! Well done you made three months! Only another year to go till you feel normal! x
ReplyAh brings back memories…..not all good ones! Loving the neck cheese….always thought it resembled cottage cheese or possibly ricotta. Nice. Well done for achieving Blog of the Day! X
ReplyJeez. I can't believe that child is 3 months old already. How in he heck did that happen? Clearly you're getting a little more sleep, good stuff 🙂
Reply(and still a gorgeous little man).
I've just had a Twitter AND fb conversation about the weeing habits of boys. I'm bored boys get over it ha ha. Great post 😉
ReplyAwesome post! My trouble maker is also three months old and he could have written the above to the letter haha x
ReplyI actually love you. Sincerely. As my 3 month old teeths on my nipples before puking it over my (rarely) showered self, your blog is the thing that still makes me snort red wine out of my nose! And I know we’re all (us mums) in it together. Except Kate Middleton. She’s probably getting a blowdry and foot massage right now while the baby sleeps. Bitch 😉
ReplyLol x thank you for reading sweetie! Amazingly he’s just turned 9-months… And I’ve still only just managed my first shower of the week! Lol x thank fuck for Instagram filters… That’s all I’m saying! 🙂 xx
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