The MNO or ‘mum’s night out’ is a rare and valuable occasion where ordinary mums adopt a pack mentality to descend upon unsuspecting drinking venues.
The MNOMs (Mum’s Night Out Mums) can be easily recognised by the traditional MNO attire/behaviour:
- Slightly dusty handbag which has not seen an outing since the introduction of the all encompassing change bag (the MNOM’s staple day time attire).
- Excessive wearing of animal print and/or neon – MNOs do not occur that often so frankly it’s time to adorn a leopard and DEMAND attention
- MNO war paint – it might be the local pub but that doesn’t mean inch-long lashes, fake tan, pink lipstick and boob glitter are over the top
- Travelling in large packs, laughing like a pack of hyenas and frequently enquiring if the bar staff have ‘anything larger’ from which they can guzzle their Pinot Grigio (cough neat gin)
- Complete inability to walk in heels. During pregnancy the MNOs will have likely suffered from feetus-gigantous (actual medical term – obviously) and now found previously worn five inch sparkly stilettos have shrunk. No matter what do NOT approach the MNOMs and point out any bleeding or bruising to the feet else sudden violence is probable (certain)
- Badly thrown dancefloor shapes and late night karaoke = compulsory
- Word of advice – all men should keep a safe distance. Cheesy chat up lines are bad for your general well-being – slightly bloody stilettos to the face do hurt. The MNOMs are surprisingly strong with their carseat powered triceps
#ginforeveryone
#loveit
#pretendingyoudonthavekidsisfun
