Mother,
Yesterday was an interesting day… instead of our usual morning routine, imagine my surprise when Daddy was the one to lift me from the cot instead of you… Well; the early-morning pre-make-up state which I come to recognise as you, that is.
Overall – I was fairly happy with his performance, he’s worked his way up to a solid 7/10 I would say. But I feel it’s only fair that I highlight a few things: he didn’t sing the breakfast song, my porridge was below par (lumpy and luke-warm), I remained in my pyjamas until nearly 11am, and then when we did get dressed I looked like I’d fallen through a jumble sale for the colour-blind… HOWEVER he put Thundercats on while swinging me by the ankles and let me eat an entire cookie almost the size of my face…. so he managed to redeem himself in the end.
I was not happy that after getting out of bed at MIDDAY, you briefly entered the living room, gave me one cuddle and then descended back up the stairs to have a bath. A very strange bath without Peppa Pig and the Octopals, where you kept very still with your eyes closed. How boring. Perhaps you have the bath confused with bed?
When you did FINALLY re-appear, you looked different… Your hair looked all neat and your face had nice colours on the eyes and mouth, and you weren’t wearing your dressing gown… I think this happened once before on your birthday perhaps… Odd.
Daddy kept getting you glasses of this weird stuff with bubbles in which seemed to make you smile. A LOT. I expect it must be made out of bananas as they do the same thing to me. Daddy then gave you some presents, which he said were from me, but I didn’t want the awkwardness of telling you I had nothing to do with it so I took the thanks. And the wrapping paper. And another cookie.
THEN Granny came over and you said you were going somewhere to get something called ‘pissed‘. You seemed to think that was really good so I can only think it’s something like soft play or swimming and was quite surprised that I wasn’t allowed to come. In fact I’ve made a note of this and plan to really f@*k up your Thursday this week. Just so you know.
Daddy said all this stuff happened because it was something called ‘Mother’s Day’ but surely you’re a Mummy every day? Weird. Anyway I thought I should write and let you know I don’t want this shit happening again. And that I’ll be requiring only cookies for dinner from now on. And that below is a picture of my disappointed face. And that Peppa Pig had better be back in the f@*king tub.
Love you.
WallyBubba x
Now THAT is an evil stare if I ever saw one! Hope Mothers Day was worth the upcoming grief 😉 x
ReplyTotally worth it 😉 I look like a new person! lol x
ReplySee that face….you wait another 12 years and that will be a perfected "hate screw"……are you scared yet?
ReplyI'm already scared, another 12 years and I'll just be a quivering wreck in the corner… :/ ha! xx
ReplyShe obviously means business! Hope you had a good piss up with granny 🙂
Replyhahaha 😉 that we did xxx hope u had a good one too!
ReplyWow……..a bath…..without toys and children…you're just showing off!
Replyha! I know. I put mascara on and everything xx #amazing
ReplySounds like mummy had a pretty amazing day despite all that staring practice.
Replyhahahaha x I managed 😉 xx
ReplyI LOVE this post! I do, I actually love it. I laughed a lot!
Kate
ReplyJust Pirouette and Carry On…
Thank you! So glad it made you laugh :))) x
This post is pure genius. Made me laugh so much and has well and truly brightened this cold snowy March day 🙂
ReplyIt really is too shitting cold. lol x thanks for reading xxx
Oh my god you've excelled yourself with this one! Nominating you as a BiBs keynote speaker, I am!
Reply:)))) x would just like to say I think I might love you x let's had #gin 😉 xx
ReplyHaha noo look at that face!! I hope the something called "pissed" was good though 😉
ReplyWorth every glass :))) x
ReplyHa ha – love the evil stare! Now why didn't my daughter think of giving me bubbles for Mother's Day…?
ReplyYou'll have to have a word before nxt year 😉 #parentingpriorities lol :)))
ReplyBrilliant just brilliant
ReplyGosh thanks! Xxx
ReplyLove this! Always enjoy your posts, but think this is my favourite ever 🙂
Replyhaha – well that is praise indeed! :)) glad you like it xxx
ReplyOh dear! You have been told! :0) x
ReplyI certainly have! :))) x #scared
ReplyOh my if looks could kill..!
ReplyWallybubba is on form today 😉 xx
she is always on form… in a terrifying, disconcerting way… lol x
ReplyThis made me giggle. Brilliant!
ReplyThanks! Xxx
ReplyI am jealous of your Mothers Day. I also adore that photo!
Thisdayilove
It was probably a bit too awesome – it made the other days of my life seem even more shit… #fail lol 😉 xx
ReplyHa this made me laugh – hope you made sure Peppa Pig found her way back to the bath, that is one serious face!!
Sounds like you had a lovely day though.
ReplyPeppa is back in place unscathed.., phew! Lol x it was a lovely day :))) xx
ReplyI love this post I laughed so much I have tears running down my face:))
ReplyThat's so nice – thank you! Xxx
ReplyHaha you are hilarious!!!!!!! Your hubby must love being married to such a funny lady!!!can we share on our fb timeline???? Xxxx
Replytee hee – gosh you're making me blush! lol x Of course you can share – use the share me tabs at the end of the post or 'like' me on Facebook (button on top left) and you can see all the posts through that and share until your heart's content! xxx
Reply