Ballet Babe

Today was our first ever ballet lesson.

I say ‘lesson’… that implies some kind of structured learning or instruction-led operation… It would be more appropriate to call it our first ever ballet ‘experience*’.

*contains mild toddler violence and tutu decimation 

It actually went surprisingly well. I can tell this because we are now both home in one piece and no children or animals were broken in the process… So I count that as a #win for sure.
Next time, I’m thinking of spicing things up a little… So here are some ways to make your child stand out at during ballet classes and create some truly treasured memories…

Arrive dressed as tombliboos. 
Paint their face before class… And I’m not talking stars and hearts and shit, I’m talking full ‘Kiss’ make-up. Or Pin Head from Hellraiser… Or perhaps a badly drawn vagina on one cheek…
Teach them the ‘adult’ version of the Tinkerbell song.
Feed them a steak half way through.
Forget ballet pumps – steel toe caps are way more practical. And tappy
Teach them to meow and groom the other children with their tongue.
Encourage floor skidding… Naked floor skidding…
Instead of tights use tattoo sleeves. Really complements a tutu…
Forget ballet buns… ballet backcombing is the way forward… the bigger the hair, the better. 
And obviously gin-up the ballet sippy-cups. Boom.



  1. Kim Carberry October 3, 2013
    • Wally Mummy October 3, 2013
  2. SarahMummy October 10, 2013
    • Wally Mummy October 10, 2013
  3. Tas D October 11, 2013
    • Wally Mummy October 11, 2013

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