Today was our first ever ballet lesson.
*contains mild toddler violence and tutu decimation
Arrive dressed as tombliboos.
Paint their face before class… And I’m not talking stars and hearts and shit, I’m talking full ‘Kiss’ make-up. Or Pin Head from Hellraiser… Or perhaps a badly drawn vagina on one cheek…
Teach them the ‘adult’ version of the Tinkerbell song.
Feed them a steak half way through.
Forget ballet pumps – steel toe caps are way more practical. And tappy.
Teach them to meow and groom the other children with their tongue.
Encourage floor skidding… Naked floor skidding…
Instead of tights use tattoo sleeves. Really complements a tutu…
Forget ballet buns… ballet backcombing is the way forward… the bigger the hair, the better.
And obviously gin-up the ballet sippy-cups. Boom.
#WallyMummyBalletTips
hahaha!! LOL!
Reply:)))) x ha! Glad u liked it xxx
ReplySome useful tips there! 😉
ReplyCan't believe she's started ballet already! My girl was 6, but that's a late starter in ballet terms.
I say ballet… she basically runs around to some twinkly music laughing and partly digesting raisins 😉 x
ReplyHehe imagine all the jaws dropping when she turns up in Kiss face makeup! 🙂
Replylol 😉 I reckon they'd be more impressed with the badly drawn vagina but hey… pahahaha xx
Reply