Gin doesn’t punch you in the vagina when you’re going in for a kiss.
Gin doesn’t remove its own nappy and spread faeces on your cream carpet. Then laugh.
Gin doesn’t suddenly decide it’s only eating ice cream or omelette this week.
Gin doesn’t ‘power-hug’ the cats.
Gin doesn’t fart in your mouth when you go in for a raspberry.
Gin doesn’t grab the Sky remote screaming ‘LOLA, LOLA, LOLA, LOLA’ whilst stamping on what’s left of your pelvic floor to see how long it is before your cave or wet yourself… (approx 37 seconds)
Gin doesn’t try to touch your eyeball after eating an orange.
Gin doesn’t wait for you to pay £6 for soft play then throw up in the ball pit so you have to leave. Quickly.
Gin doesn’t wait until you’ve turned your back for a split second then hide your mascara.
Gin doesn’t eat bran flakes without removing them from the box first.
Gin doesn’t hide all the f@*king shoes.
Gin will give you a big blurry gin cuddle whenever you want, tell you how thin you are, let you have a lie-in and is happy to stay at home in pyjamas all day… and that’s why from now on I will be choosing #gin (and condoms).
#gin
Ahh…gin *sighs wistfully*
Replylol 😉 Keeping mums on the go since the beginning of time…
ReplyBrilliant, not a gin person myself, but will apply same principles to my malt.
ReplyCan also be exchanged for wine or chocolate 😉 lol x
ReplyI prefer a cold beer but it's the same principle x
ReplyHaha 😉 same difference right :)))
ReplyI'm teetotal, but I must say you've got me quite sold on gin!
ReplyReckon this could covert you 😉 lol x
ReplyI love WallyBubba take on showing affection to the cats, it reminds me of my toddler who my cats have hated since the day she arrived, we call them full body loves as she manages to lie down completely on top of them pinning them to the floor while she gives them the hardest squeeze you can imagine boor little things!
ReplyLol 😉 it's love! Haha x just the cats haven't realised yet… Lol x
ReplyHa ha! I'm away with work tonight – I may try a glass of gin to weigh up the pros and cons for myself. 😉
ReplyJolly good idea 😉 I strongly advise it… No wait – I insist! Lol :)))
Replyhehe… i'm really not a gin person but you put forward such a compelling case i may have to try it.
Replyhaha – I am known for my converting skills… lol 😉 x
ReplyI don't like gin, but still on board that it's better than kids! x
ReplyYou can substitute for any alcohol really 😉 x thanks for the comment! lol x
ReplySomeone say Gin???
ReplyAh, feck it. I'll have one. But I can't afford such a pricey beverage. I'll sell one of my kids perhaps….two birds with one ?!! lush xx