Recently, thoughts of returning to work keep filling my head.
I’m happy as a stay at home mummy, don’t get me wrong… The day-time drinking and pyjama-party-mondays ALONE are enough to let me know my life is AWESOME.
But…
And somehow there always is a ‘but’…
…is slurping pinot grigio at midday whilst watching CBeebies in a onesie ‘enough‘ for me…?
Right now – Yes. I like it. Who f@*king wouldn’t… It’s the future I’m more concerned about. She’s starting to talk, become independent, I can already see the signs of her needing me less and less… She feeds herself, asks for what she wants, gets her own toys, punches her own badgers… Soon it’ll be nursery, then school, the BIG school, then UNI-shitting-VERSITY… Arrrghh. I know it’s going to fly by in an instant and I’m scared I’ll suddenly be left wondering where the time went, feeling bitter about the career I pissed away so I could ruin my vagina, taste infant faeces and become a twatty nappy-price expert…
When she gets old enough to start having her own goals and aspirations I don’t want her to look at me and think… hmmm… my mum’s a slightly wonky, gin-fuelled hobo with no achievements other than an amazon prime account and a broken fanny… No. I know pretty soon I’m going to start needing more. But I also want more children… (Yes, I know. Don’t worry. I slapped myself in the face as I typed that and took a Tanqueray to the eye by way of punishment). So do I return to work now and leave producing a WallyBubba #2 until I’ve started my career up again? Or do I bash another one out quick as I can, finish my pelvic floor off for good and resign myself to the pissy-pukey-poo-fest of motherhood for another few years…?
It’s a tough one. There’s no right or wrong answer I know. And I’m probably leaning towards the latter…. (Cue another slap and gin-shot to the retina) I’m just worried about my CV after five years of full-time motherhood; I’m not sure my last role as ‘chief onesie-wearing wine drinker’ along with a cover note that says simply says HIRE ME I’M SHITTING AWESOME, is going to cut it…
Oh well. F@*k it. Perhaps it’s time to stop worrying about ‘then’ and enjoy the ‘right now’ for a bit longer… after-all once I write my blog into a book, YOU’RE ALL GOING TO BUY IT. AREN’T YOU. YES. THAT’S F@*KING RIGHT. YOU ARE.
Sooooo… Pinot-up my pint glass, Mummy is onesie-ed up and ready for an afternoon of Mega-Bloks, Lola and Crocodile Xylophone solos. And she’s going to f@*king love it.
Boom.
#PinotOnesieMondays
#TanqueraytotheEYE
#gin
It's a good argument to have with yourself every now and again – even just thinking about returning to work makes your gin fuelled pyjama parties seem even more awesome!
Replyhaha 😉 yay for gin-fuelled-PJ-parties! xxx
ReplyThanks for making me laugh out loud (again) and really annoying my husband…but, let's face it, he's never going to get it. But then, why would he? While I was laughing, he said (thoughtfully) "I wonder when you are going to hear about these jobs you've been applying for?". Stopped me in my tracks. Stopped the sniggering on my part. Reality check! Thanks a bloody bunch. What about the last 9 years of unpaid, thankless (pointless) work I've been doing? I'm not sure any of it counts in the "real" world.
ReplyYou are welcome lol! Well, I'm in the unpaid, thankless, pointless job-marekt too… pahahaha x Do you think one-handed nappy changes count as a vocational skill? no…? x I do sometimes wonder what my husband thinks I do all day? Probably just twitter… lol xx
ReplyDo both! I do. Zookeeper to three under-fives by day, freelance writer by night. Knackered but worth it!
ps would TOTALLY buy the book of your blog. And it can only be a matter of time before they ask you to ghostwrite Kate Middleton's parenting book …
ReplyOh yeah 😉 obvs they've already approached me about the royal baby diaries… Lol x think it was my subtlety and warmth xx ha! Xx
ReplyLol love it what a very fab yet true post…. enjoy enjoy…. sounds like pure bliss to me, I crave for a Monday pajama party alone lol
Replylol cant spell pyjama…I will blame the computer x
ReplyThey are rather fun 😉 u can come to the nxt one. You just have to bring wine and you're in :))) lol xx
Replyi think that's the american spelling anyway… 🙂 x
ReplyWhy is this the first time I've read your blog? I didn't even know such things existed until a few weeks ago (thought they were all about how to make a cake and teach your child Mandarin ). Right your advice is awesome – I'm quitting my job, buying some gin (didn't think I liked it!) and sending the kids to school in a taxi from now on. xx
ReplyPahaha 😉 I like to think of myself as some kind of parent/child expert really. The drunker I am, the more it all makes sense :))) x I think your plan sounds awesome. You should probably do it all in your pants too. You know. For effect. 🙂 x
ReplyDo it, I'd buy it. I keep reading your post in places where I should be serious, not snorting and almost pee'ing myself (damn pelvic floor) x
Replyha 😉 Thanks x advance order duly noted… lol x
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