It was a good Christmas in the WallyHousehold…
… despite the newly-formed slightly-leaky holes in my house, the puking toddler, no Sky TV and the cats teaming up to take a giant shit in my utility room, I have to say Christmas Day was STILL fairly awesome.
The complete lack of television meant we actually had to have conversations… (remember those – that thing you did before twitter… I know. Weird right…) By midday I’d worked myself into a semi-permanent prosecco-come-purple-quality-street haze… which meant I soon forgot the toddler-chunks in my fringe and was back to charade-ing my tits off.
And yes. Charade-ing is a word.
We conquered the epic toddler gift mountain in record time by following a strict colour coded system and maintaining a steady one-gift-per-gin operation… until WallyGrandad passed out from dolly-dressing-up exhaustion, and the WallyHusband was forced to use the ‘safe word’ – Mince Pie. Which we all then ate until arteries started to weep.
WallyBubba took no interest in the concept of Father Christmas, but seemed fairly happy that somebody (albeit somebody with a beard) had transformed the living room into her own private river of Fisher Price diarrhoea… although it didn’t take her too long to start wrestling her new dolly car-seat after realising she couldn’t fit in it herself. *deep sigh* Fortunately she was bribed out of her rage with the iPad, a Chupa-Chup, some farting and a series of wardrobe changes…
I got some designer shoes so the WallyHusband is still alive and looking forward to my birthday. (And all the other occasions I’ve decided we’ll now be celebrating throughout the year…) And I gave him half an hour off to have a poo in peace, so a fair swap I reckon.
Since then, we’ve basically just been sat around for four days in piles of packaging playing Peppa Pig Snakes and Ladders, and eating cold roast potatoes along with the less favourable colours of Quality Street… Because THAT’S what Christmas is really about. That and Alcohol. Obviously.
I honestly think the toddler will be sad when the tree is gone as she’ll have to go back to fucking up all the ordinary shit again…
In other news, I can now eat After Eights via osmosis and drink gin using only my ovaries and a straw. #Proud
See all you bastards in 2014. (Tomorrow)
The WallyFamily xx
I love this post! Alcohol definitely helps make Christmas go with a bang 🙂Reply
Couldn't agree more! Lol 😉 although I am quite looking forward to #dryjanuary now before my organs pack up… Ha! XxReply
I think I love you a little bit xxReply
Ha! *splutters tea everywhere*Reply
Friggin hilarious. Can't wait til my little one is a toddler. Oh no, wait…….Reply
Ha 😉 x I feel your pain…. *passes festive #gin* xxReply
Just discovered you and like your style! Also, so with you on the prosecco-purple-hazelnut-in-caramel combo, though I prefer the Roses version – bigger, by my calculations. Happy new year!Reply
Now that is the sort of usual information I like! Lol x thank you for finding me :)))) xxReply
I have a couple of blogs, that on a Friday night, after a week at work, I settle down with a glass (or two…….. ok so it's the bottle and an IV drip!) and read to make me roar with laughter – yours is one of them. Glad you had a good Xmas zzReply
Awww x thanks chick 😉 *smugface* xxx I'm here all week… Lol xxReply
Sounds like a very real and merry Christmas!Reply
It t'was indeed 😉 Hope yours was lovely too xxxReply
Haha, this made me laugh! You like drinking then?! 😉 #magicmomentsReply
We like to dabble with the gin nectar 😉 lol x thanks for the comment xxxReply
Happy New Year to you all….and I'm glad you allow Wallyhusband a 1/2 an hour 'comfort break' – just don't tell mine, he only gets 20 minutes 😀Reply
Still sounds pretty generous to me… 😉 and a Happy NY to you too! Lol xxReply
You never fail to make me LOL – describes our household x4 over the festive period – miss it now it's over 😉 xxReply
Yay thank you xxx I miss it too now 😉 lol xxReply
Ha, perfect description of Christmas with a toddler 🙂 Glad you had a good one! Happy New Year xxReply
And to you lovely :))) hope u had a good one too 😉 xxReply
ha! Cheers love 😉 xxReply
Well jel of your designer shoes!! Definitely in the good books for life for that one!!! And I like the after eights mention – I love them too!!! Really pleased to have found your blog 🙂 #pocoloReply
And I'm so glad you found me too 😉 lol x I am all about designer shoes and festive chocolate at the mo so you won't be disappointed! haha xReply
I do wish everyone was this honest about their Christmas! Totally brilliant 🙂 So glad to have you link up with PoCoLo – Cathie B says majorly good things about you and I can see why 🙂Reply
Thank you xxx That's very sweet of her :)) x I just tell it how it is really! lol xx #PoCoLo xReply
this is so sounding like my Christmas, i love that your keeping it real! lol
thanks forl inking up with #MagicMomentsReply
No probs! It's as real as it comes over here… lol xxReply
Literally laugh so much at ur posts. So funny * glad u had a fab Christmas xx #magicmomentsReply
Thanks sweetie :))) x thanks for reading xxx Hope you had a fab xmas too xxReply