Welcome to the land of preggo-insomnia,
Where things are sweatier,
and sometimes extra vomit-ier.
Night times are spent rolling in a stuffy duvet spin;
one leg out…
one leg in…
it won’t f@*king matter until you’re thin.
The second you get comfortable,
your bladder decides it’s full,
Then your tiny vagina-passenger
punches the shit out of your uterus-wall.
It seems there’s no position
where your body will let you sleep,
With itching bits,
leg cramps and tingly feet.
Your easiest option is left hand side
and even that’s a chore,
As you sit awake for hours
watching your bastard husband snore…
So welcome to the joys of preggo-insomnia,
With its nightmares,
and its panicking,
and occasional hypochondria.
You may just have to face it;
you just can’t f@*king win,
So suck it up and focus on that first post-natal gin.
pssst… for any of you lovely pregnant ladies – Mumsnet is launching Bumpfest on 27th September; it’s first annual one-day event for all things birth and baby. Click through for info and ticket details.