A biro.
The suncream.
A pop-up book. (nothing will ‘pop up’ in quite the same way ever again…)
Or any book you enjoy with the pages attached to the spine in their current order.
Meatballs. (Or any of the Italian sauce-based meat dishes. Not if you like your furniture anyway…)
Time alone… *whispers* that’s how things get dead…
Your Facebook log-in details. Toddler fraping is no joke.
Any sign of weakness.
Or embarrassment…
Or relaxation… that’s when they are most likely to attack…
Unlabelled foreign sweets. We all know why. Everyone remembers the day her tongue turned blue and she didn’t stop dancing for four hours on holiday… naked… even though there wasn’t any music…
Cutlery.
Tissue paper.
Their freedom.
Anything made of glass, ceramics or skin (includes pets).
In fact, ANYTHING you prefer in it’s current state. If only someone has told you that before you let them travel into this world via your vagina, eh.
And most importantly never, ever, EVER let them hold their own toothbrush or the Calpol syringe… once you’ve gone there, there’s no hope for you… no going back… only gin can save you then…
#cutleryisyourenemy
#thisiswhyginwasinvented
#gin
hahaha!!! Brilliant!!
ReplyThank you! lol xxx
ReplyI have made all of these mistakes #passthegin
ReplyI am still making all of these mistakes… lol #passesgin x
ReplyUnfortunately your advice came too late 🙁
Replylol 😉 x
ReplyBrilliant!!
Although i would add keys, lost count of the times i have found my keys in the bin or stuffed into a toy car. Always when i need to catch a train!
ReplyHahaha 😉 yes, I totally agree… mine usually end up stuck in the lock of the wrong door… lol x
ReplyAlso never show them were chocolate or cake is as there will never be any left. Never leave them alone with your handbag as they will stick sanitary towels all over with the words look mummy aeroplane stickers.
Replyhahaha – yes, how do they always find the tampons… mine thinks they are biscuits and goes mental! lol x
ReplyJust to add… because of the wrappers…!
Reply