The day we’ve all been waiting for…
The WallyBubba has become upright…
For long, slow periods…
Until she gathers up any kind of speed…
This. Is. Bliss. (comparatively)
Here’s a quick top ten tips for all the mummies of new walkers out there:
Race them across the living room. You’ll win every time. And it’s nice to remember what that feels like.
Mess with their tiny minds by stapling all their toys to the floor.
Remember when you used to use your coffee table? Well, it’s nice to reminisce isn’t it.
The bumbo’s only use is now as a hat. Any attempt to restrain a toddler is likely to end in the loss of an eye. Or a cat.
Play music sporadically so you can watch them fall over as they try to dance.
Don’t let the staff in the Clark’s shop brainwash you with talk of cruising and walking shoes. At £35 a go, they can go barefoot and shitting well like it.
Make your own toddler-reigns from empty gin tins. And pasta. And Upsy-Daisy’s hair.
Every so often, just push them over. It’s good for them to learn how to fall. And feel intense disappointment and a massive sense of underachievement. They’ll have children one day too….
When you feel sad, remember the next step is potty-training… and then it’s just sadness and tears over wasted dreams as you clean up turd biscuits and break your back attempting to hold the hand of a one year old everywhere you go…
When it goes quiet… shit yourself.
|“Don’t touch me, I can do it my [email protected]*king self.”|
Whoop Whoop go forth WallyBubba…off to conquer the world! You're mum thought you could give her trouble…well we both know you have not shown her NOTHING yet!
hahaha 😉 God I am never gonna struggle for material for this blog am I… *nervous laugh* x thanks for reading and commenting xxx
yeah fab news – you need eyes in the back of your head now !
I've grown some specially 😉 #prepared lolReply
Congrats WallyBubba. Running and jumping off things comes next!Reply
Not if I break her legs.
Cruising shoes really are a marketing dream. Everyone is excited about buying the first pair of shoes, and they've tapped into a really lucrative yet previously completely non-existent market by creating something no-one needs, but everyone is tempted to buy….give it 4 weeks and get her some proper shoes. And move all the valuables up another shelf! 😀
yes – luckily i am not buying into the whole cruising footwear crap 😉 i have nothing left of value… lol xxx
Your post really made me giggle xx
Thanks 😉 they make me giggle (cry) too x lolReply