Dear Mummy… we just wanted to say thank you,
For putting up with all of our shit.
We’re sorry for the winging, the crying and the whining,
And all the times we punched you in the tit.
We’re sorry you never have time to shave your legs.
We’re sorry that you’ve now grown a tash…
We’re sorry you don’t get to wear a bra anymore.
And we’re sorry about the baggy vag.
We’re sorry your tummy looks like a dehydrated scrotum,
We’re sorry you leak a bit when you laugh.
We’re sorry you never get to eat toast on your own.
We’re sorry we’ve lost seven Sophie the Giraffes.
We’re sorry about the Cheerios and human shit in your hair,
We’re sorry about the substantial loss of skin…
We’re sorry about the substantial loss of skin…
We’re sorry you never get to poo alone,
We’re sorry that CBeebies has driven you to gin.
We’re sorry that CBeebies has driven you to gin.
So thank you, our Mummy, for all of the things,
You put up with from us every day.
You’re the best f@*king Mummy that we’ve ever had,
And we love you in every way.
(We also got you this daffodil with fox turd on it that we found in the road. Enjoy.)
#DearMummy
#foxturddaffodils
#gin
That's the best Mother's Day poem I've read all day, thanks, Joy x x
ReplyAbsolutely brilliant, although a little sad too as I can relate to most of it! The daffodil/fox turd sounds delightful, can't make this stuff up can you xx
ReplyBrilliant! That's Mother's Day summed up right there. Hope the daffodil is still blooming! 🙂
ReplyI love their gift in exchange for a baggy vag and poo in your hair. Brilliant stuff xx
ReplySpot on.
Replyhahaahah "Dehydrated Scrotum"
ReplyFor the Great information you write it very clean. I am very lucky to get this tips from you.very well information you write it very clean. I’m very lucky to get this information from you . emotional mothers day poems from daughter
ReplyOh my god … hilarious!! This is amazing made my laugh so hard I had to cross my legs!
ReplyAmazing.. Absolutely brilliantMothers day messages, quotes, cards, greetings, gifts, and many more…
ReplyMothers day messages, quotes, cards, greetings, gifts, and many more…
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