It’s all about the Holiday Baby-Radius,
As they grab and they lunge and they bring out the rage in us…
How can someone so tiny reach so bloody far?!
Nothing is safe, not even your Cerveza on the bar.
If there’s something sharp on the table, that’s the thing they’ll grab.
Nothing says ‘Holiday-Parent-of-the-Year’ like getting your infant stabbed.
They think they can deceive you, by pretending to be play with toys.
Then BOOM, you relaxed, let your attention lapse, now they’re javelin-ing cutlery at some Greek boys.
It may be the sun-soaked G&T’s *cough* making you think you’re totally cool.
If you look away for even a second, you’ll be sat in a paella-pool.
So yes, it’s all about the Holiday Baby-Radius,
If you want to make it through a meal not covered in baby mush.
You need a clear circumference to save you from the mess.
Now it’s time for gin laced cocktails and using the hotel crèche.
I am impressed you wrote this on holiday, and Gin fuelled. It’s very selfish that baby ‘annoyances’ don’t cease when the sun shines.
Is it any less annoying on holiday, in the sun, than it is at home at the table as they reach and fling stainy food onto the floor? For me I think yes – for two main reasons:
1. On holiday afternoon drinking is acceptable, so by the time dinner comes and you are at a table, you are less likely to give a s*&t.
2. On holiday – you may get to watch a handsome young waiter bend over and clear up the mess.
Send the babies away for a holiday and you can then lie down with numerous G & Ts in a darkened room and enjoy your well earned rest! But as that’s an impossible dream, just keep the alcohol close and the babies closer! Tie them to whichever heavy object is nearby.Reply