‘Mary had a little lamb’ gets a re-write…

Mummy had a drink last night
The wine it sure did flow
Now everywhere that mummy goes
the chunder monkey shows

It followed her all round the house and then to Tesco Express
Where she bought three snickers bars and Alkaseltzer Xcess

She made it home and held it together until she smelt that nappy
Anticipating a border breach she quickly called for ‘Daddy!’

Mummy had a drink last night
She won’t be doing it again ever
Until she feels better tonight that is
When mine’s a pint of vodka


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