Are you a bubble wrap mummy?

Yes, the prize title of pointless parenting phrase of the week goes to… (da-dada-dah)… ‘bubble wrap parenting’.

I am, of course, totally thrilled that someone, somewhere, has found something new for me to feel anxious and guilty about. How irresponsible of me to have thought I was actually doing an OK job for a split second there. Thank GOD you have pointed out the huge error of my ways and my utter inadequacies as a parent. Frankly – f@*king PHEW. Thank f@*k you were there.

I have now read what the ‘key signs’ of being a bubble wrap parent are, and it’s undeniable – I must take action… I now plan to carry a sheet of bubble wrap on my person whenever possible. That way at the point where having my every decision as a parent criticised does inevitably become too much, I will have something to hand with which I can simultaneously strangle and suffocate myself.



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