(proceed with caution – I say shit a lot in this one)
Yes, I’m doing it again.
I have absolutely no idea why, because if the last two experiences are anything to go by you’d think I’d have given up and gone into hibernation… but NO. I’m off on holiday with the baby AGAIN.
You can read about my previous ‘holidays’ (I use the term loosely) here and here. When you’ve finished crying please come back and read the rest of this post won’t you…
I am beginning to wonder if I don’t have some sort of problem? Perhaps I’m some kind of closet thrill seeker…? But with really shit thrills.
As a seasoned ‘pro’ at travelling with a tiny person, I feel it’s only fair I now impart my expert baby-travelling knowledge for all to benefit from…
So here’s my tips, WallyMummy style:
- Don’t take the baby – it will be shit.
- If you have to take the baby, take someone else to look after it. NEVER GO ON HOLIDAY ALONE WITH A CHILD – it will be shit.
- Drink heavily during the flight. That’s probably the worst part. Until you get to the flight home…by then you’ll just be an empty, broken, gin-laden husk…
- In fact drink heavily throughout the entire week, and consider taking up smoking again. And crack.
- Don’t bother packing anything for yourself. You won’t have space for anything anyway and if you actually think you’ll be reading books, heading out, eating, washing or getting dressed at any point, think again. You won’t – it will be shit.
- The time difference will really mess with their routine so you’ll have that to look forward to on top of all the usual soul-destroying bullshit.
- Don’t make any plans to visit or see anything – it’ll just lead to disappointment. Or you’ll somehow manage to go and it will be shit.
- Overall, set your expectations really low – because honestly – it will be shit.
- Don’t go. Just stay at home and spend the money on baby-sitting and gin. And crack.Because if you do go – it will be shit.
HAHAHAHA after a TERRIBLE night's sleep this has cheered me up no end!! Thank you! And good luck!!Reply
Lol x glad it cheered u up xxx I will need that luck! 😉Reply
Ohhhh, you speak the TRUTH. Holidays with babies ARE shit. holidays with kids of any sort are also shit, but not quite as much. I'm still super pissed off 3 years after my son's birth that a holiday is no longer a holiday, just more of the same daily drudgery because we have a child to look after.
Disclaimer: I do actually love him and stuff.Reply
lol- I think they should come up with another word for it other than 'holiday'… it's just very misleading! i need that disclaimer across my entire blog! #hopesheneverreadsanyofthiswhenshegrowsup…lol xReply
This is so funny and so very true!
My hubby says that I DO get a holiday when we're away as he 'pushes the buggy and changes a few nappies' Yes, those were his actual words. *rolls eyes*Reply
LMAO – so true… I've decided to leave him at home for this one, taking my mum instead. I think she actually enjoys changing nappies and she's already offered to do as many morning shifts as I want! BLISS. I'll just be watching her from over the top of my Sangria glass lol xReply
I am also taking my LO on holiday for the second time this year! She is just turning two, so we are hoping the flight to Canada will be less traumatic than it was last year! She is obsessed with my iPad so going to let her have full control and as you advice have a few glasses of wine to help get through the 8 hour flight! That's othe only way we got through it last year!Reply
good luck – iPad and wine is the way forward definitely!Reply
Never took my baby son on holiday he was a shit sleeper as it was! But did relent and take 3 year old son and 8 month old daughter to Cornwall but it was still shit. We had to find places to warm baby food, had to take baby food, had to take giant nappy bag with multiple changes of clothing. It was hell. The only good thing was the change of scenery :-/Reply
It's a total nightmare – roll on the day when I can leave her with the grandparents and bugger off with the hubby for a week… 😉 lol xReply
True that. Made me laugh and then sigh heavily… going on a trip with the 2yo in two weeks. Shit!Reply
Shit indeed! lol xReply
The number one rule is stick to your home country until they are teenagers! That way you can have a mega fail and come home. We only went an hour away and I HATED it. HATED it HATE HATE HATE!Reply
Have fun 🙂
lol – yes I tried that but didn't go as far as coming home! LMAO! I really don't know why I'm doing it to myself again… maybe I'm drunk?Reply
lol… i know… 🙂Reply
Hope you manage to have a nice time! xReply
Thanx! I um… Tried… LolReply
SHITE It's only about 4 weeks to my hol with ma, pa, bro, sis in law to be and my 13 months old. Shite Shite Shite. xReply
Lol… Good shitting luck is all I can say! Xx 😉Reply
LOL This is hilarious! Have heaps of fun….or not! Can't wait to hear the aftermath 🙂 xReply
Thanks xxx #blogposttofollow lol xxReply
Hope you enjoyed yourself somewhere inbetween all the shit! xxReply
we did (sort of) between all the shit 🙂 lol xReply