The Toddler and The Deep…

What could be more fun with a one year old than Toddler Tuesday at the local Aquarium?

How could this watery world of wonder not mystify, astound and entertain a toddler, I hear you ask?


It doesn’t.

It just makes them angrier.

And faster.

And louder.

In public…

So… they’re fish…
I don’t get it…
However this milk buys you six minutes
of silence mother… clever move…
If I pretend to be asleep can we leave?

I can see this is going to take a while.
Remove me from my buggy immediately
 or I will bite through this foam bar and punch an otter.
We both know I’m not joking.
I’m FREEEEEE. F*@k the fish.
I’ve found some steps, a yellow warning cone
and a fire escape,
and I am gonna seriously shit up your day.

I’ve found the exit…
now to use my coat to ‘lasso’ my way outta this fishy-hell-hole.
Reminds me of that time I escaped from your vagina…

OK. You’ve got me back inside.
Now I’m going to lick this glass until
you give me the Twix I just saw you put in your pocket. 

I actually expected more of a fight – You’re so weak.
I can see why you drink now.
To block out how shit you are at this. 



  1. sabrina montagnoli March 6, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 6, 2013
  2. Hattie March 6, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 6, 2013
  3. Claire Bottomley Book Club Mum March 7, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 7, 2013
  4. Mel Way-hey March 7, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 8, 2013
  5. Anonymous March 15, 2013
    • Wally Mummy March 15, 2013

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