We all knew this day would come…
But you hang on and hope that you’ll be one of the lucky ones…
One of the few whose toddler decides napping is for them. And carries on doing it. FOREVER. Or something.
But this is not us.
We are the majority.
We’re just like the rest of you.
We are fucked.
Because no longer can I use the hour, sometimes two whole hours, that WallyBubba used to give me whilst she napped to remove the pieces of breakfast from my face, rotate my leggings, enjoy a solo loo-visit or even hoover… (ok not hoover, but be in the same room as the hoover drinking gin which is nearly the same…)
No. Those joyful moments are OVER.
From now on, every afternoon I shall remain dappled in Weetabix, in crispy leggings, and have to actually entertain my over-active, felt-tip eating, cat-punching pre-schooler all by myself… Fuck.
I’m not even ashamed to admit that I am fairly concerned at this prospect… *runs away and hides from disapproving glances* In fact, I’m terrified that I may have to finally enter into the world of… toddler arts and crafts. *flinches and throws up about in own mouth*
I’m just don’t think I’m ready… I’m not sure me and my living room, or my poor tormented cats, will survive… the mere mention of the letters ‘P.V.A’ gives me cold sweats… and I’d just to remind everyone involved that they have vowed to never again speak of what happened the day we let WallyBubba hold the glitter-glue-gun… Or ‘Glitter Gate’ as it’s now known… Let’s just say Yes. Poos can be sparkly too…
So feel for me fellow toddler-keepers, I’m now joining you on the darker side of parenting. There’ll be gin, there’ll be tears, but there will be no sleeping toddler… and I will literally lay down and die before we ever attempt messy play again.
#gin
#GlitterGate
#gin
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| WallyBubba. Caught in the act… of NOT sleeping. |
*waves hello* testing 1 2 GIN!
This is my kinda test… lol 🙂
ReplyOh no! This is the day I dread, we are rapidly approaching it although days she doesn't want to nap she will go to her room to play quietly for an hour I know this is a honeymoon period and won't last.
May the gin be with you.x
You will join us… mwahahahaha x thanks for the gin… I NEED IT. lol 🙂 xx
This happened to me three weeks ago. I felt hysterical. I had three good years and praise the lord that it didn't happen when my son was born. I would have a breakdown. I have embraced Disney. Every afternoon Disney is shoved on whilst I breathe for a bit. But there's only so many times she will watch Mulan. I feel your pain. RIP the nap. You will truly be missed x
The grieving period has begun… And mine will watch nothing other than Charlie and Lola or Peppa Pig… KILL. ME. NOW.
Ha ha good luck! My little monsters just a month younger than Wally Bubba and he hasn't napped during the day for a few weeks now, other than when he was ill. I'm dreading what kind of demon will great me from his first day of nursery next week, no doubt exhausted with his head spinning round – can't wait!
ReplyHa 😉 I'm pretty glad we've lasted until now! Suppose I should be thankful for that… *twitches a bit* x I will be upping the nursery hours myself me thinks! lol xx
ReplyNot compatible with gin unfortunately, but when my twins stopped napping at home a few weeks after their 2nd birthday and my sanity was well and truly hanging by the finest thread, I used to load them in the car and drive around until they fell asleep, park up & drown my sorrows in M&S mezze & read my kindle (or nap myself)! Good luck! Oh and PS http://www.rockittots.com/collections/t-shirts/products/sleep-is-for-sissies-t-shirt
Ha 😉 I shall be that mum crying at the KFC drive thru… Lol! Xx
I am so, so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
ReplyThank you. Alcoholic mourning shall begin imminently….
How funny! I have a post half written about this too, I think we may be at the end of our naps as well. I am not ashamed to admit the thought fills me with dread, I have a baby as well so she will still nap, so its not like we can even go out in the afternoons particularly. The thought makes me go into a cold sweat!
ReplyHow old is your little one? Mads has just turned three, so I suppose I should be pleased she has lasted that long. But still….aaaaaah! x
Mine has only just turned two… *wails* lol x Thanks for the comment 😉 Good luck with it! xx
Oh no…I dread this day,thankfully L is only 7 months at the moment. Love your description though 😉
Ha 😉 You've hopefully got a good while yet! lol x
ReplyBrilliant description! I looked after a 18mth year old for a few days recently & it was a nightmare, my youngest is 6 & I'd forgotten just how bloody hard work it is!
ReplyThey just NEVER. STOP. EVER… lol 😉 x *wails a bit* x
A great post, it is hard when you lose that nap, but it does make them more tired at night! #Whatsthestory
Yes! I had to wake her up fro nursery this morning! lol x
Replyhahah..i felt like this every single time. you are not alone!
Replyha 😉 Thank you ! xxx
Just brilliant – did a proper full on snort! POD rarely napped the little tinker. Make sure your gin supplies are high, sounds like you'll need it – regularly! Thanks for sharing with #whatsthestory
I've hooked myself up to a drip… #savestime 🙂 x thanks for the comment! xx lol
ReplyHaha! I feel your pain and crispy leggings! Yuck! Gorgeous pic!
Lol 😉 you love it. I love a bit of crunchy-toddler-smeared-clothing :))) x
ReplyI know I was gutted when naps stopped (not that he was ever a great napper compared to some).
ReplyI'd get a good two hours some days… When the hell am I gonna sit on twitter and judge people on Facebook for hours now! Lol xx
Oh sparkly poo! I remember that! Nap loss is one of the worst parts of parenting. There's nothing now until pre-school 🙂
Can't you lie to me or something… can you say there's whole days of sporadic napping or something…? lol xx
ReplyOh yes! I remember the end of nap times… *shudders* but I came, I saw, I conquered! 😉
You have given me hope I'll make through lady! lol 😉 let's drink to that *clink* x
Oh I remember this sooooo well. I swore mine would have a nap till they started school…. 18 months we lasted before I gave up trying to drive them or rock them to sleep. That's how desperate I was in the end, I would spend a small fortune on fuel trying to get them off so I could just grab 30 mins peace! Gin is definitely the way forward! x
God – I don't know how you do it with two! Double #gins for you! 😉 xxx
Ooo I feel lucky. My boy is now 2 and a half and has only just dropped his daytime naps. Every 4-5 days or so he does get an hour daytime nap in just to get a bit of a catch up. It's been a bit of a blessing to us as he now goes to bed at night at a reasonable time (before 8pm!) and we at least get a quite evening! 🙂
ReplyMichelle x
Sounds like you had a good run lol! But I agree – nothing like putting your feet up with a glass of vino by half 7 is there 😉 lol xxxx
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