Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
My facebook is a plethora of foetuses.
Scan photos, baby bumps, new-borns and birth stories,
Doesn’t anyone know what a secret is…?
Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
I’ll confess that it’s making me moody.
It’s just because my baby’s not a ‘baby’ anymore,
Anyone would think I was bastard-well broody…
Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
Every day there’s another text.
A mini-miracle in the oven of the knocked-up pudding club,
Are they expecting a medal for having unprotected sex…?
Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
I can’t help but feel a bit jealous.
Until I look at the toddler, whilst downing rioja,
And remember I’m back in control of my uterus.
Everyone’s F@*king Pregnant,
It’s enough to turn me to gin…
But while everyone makes the jump, and grows their mummy-bumps,
I’ll temporarily enjoy feeling thin.
#smugthinface
#gin
#rioja
haha loving the #smugthinface!!
heehee xx well thanks! *sucks cheeks in to practice* 😉
Not barsteward me praise be lol. 🙂 *passes the gin* x
*accepts and swigs straight from bottle* lol xx
Love it. I'd take thin and gin anyday ;))
And that's why I like you lady 😉 lol x
Oh yes :O) Love it, lol! @Chaoskay
ha! Cheers missus xx
I thought this was going to be an announcement! haha enjoy the gin x
*falls over* lol x you'll find only gin here :))) ha! xx
Ha! Brilliant as always. I am not sure if I should admit that I am putting off any putting buns in the oven until after my 30th so I can drink gin to my heart's content!
Ha! I have decided it's impossible for me to consider pregnancy now the warm weather has arrived as I cannot fully enjoy sunshine without prosecco and/or a G&T in my hand! #fact lol xx
Feeling your pain! Not an ounce of broody here despite buying adorable clothes for my friends 5 day old. #ginmeup #flatstomach
And your local off licence and skimpy summer clothing will thank you for it! lol xx
I am not pregnant or thin! Shit
*grabs a bigger bottle of gin*
hahaha x me neither! lol *puts hand out for gin offering* xx
So true. Everyone is f**king pregnant! Let us chink our gin glasses because we can drink it and they can't! xx
Mwahahahahaahahahaha… *clink* xx
I can see my own feet (a bit) so take that suckers…. yeah and good luck fools with ten minutes sleep a night, dirty nappies and no spare time… oh no crapville that's me anyway….. well I can ate tuna so there (put that in your pipe preggery people. xxx
*sniggering* you tuna-eating rebel you :)) I ate whole camemberts and didn't even feel bad mwahahaha x lol xx
Half my work floor was pregnant a few months back. Apparently there is a magical fertility chair (hoho). I'll post it to you if you like? 😉
heehee 😉 I've heard those totally exist! lol x But seriously, post me that chair and I'll send teh WallyBubba round with a pack of non washable marker pens… lol xx
You should name a cock tail fat boy gin
ha 😉 x
Mwahahahaha! Absolutely! Funny how having another one is encouraged in conversation, but stating you're done at one is totally dismissed. By my own friends! I'm so glad he's not tiny anymore. God he was boring. And I got ill from lack of sleep! Anyway – I LOVE this. xx
heehee 😉 Thank you xxx
Wowsers 'in control of your uterus' thats one for the CV 😉
*updates CV* :)))
I can honestly say for the first time in my life I enjoy looking at other people's children and don't want any more of my own. Broody has totally gone. I guess 5 + 2 was enough for me then 😀
That does sound like plenty! lol x And a good place to be :)) xx
Rhyming jealous and uterus is pretty much poetry genius.
Oh hell yes… *smugface* lol xx
Really, really, really LOL…..
hahahaha xx cheers chick! xx
Brilliant!! Love it! 🙂
Thanks lovely! xx
Yay, make the most of not being pregnant and keep enjoying the gin!
haha! I shall :)) x
Love this poem!!
:)) thank you! xx
Love this!
Thanks! heehee xxx