It’s ‘time for tea!’, I say with glee,
And then the shit hits the dinner-time fan.
I’ve used the wrong plate, it’s three minutes late,
And I’ve interrupted an episode of Driver Dan.
And I’ve interrupted an episode of Driver Dan.
Dinner isn’t even ready, and the winging’s become steady,
It’s becoming impossible to please her…
‘Mother you forget, I’m no fan of the courgette.
‘Mother you forget, I’m no fan of the courgette.
In fact I hate anything that isn’t pizza*.’
(*including pizza)
(*including pizza)
It’s high-chair carnage, with a snot-laden garnish,
As she decides she’s allergic to everything green.
She’ll scream ’til she’s sick, at the thought of one lick,
Of a pea or a sprout or runner bean.
It’s time to eat, but there’s secrets in that meat,
She’s spotted more than beige in her bowl.
As I chuck another meal away, I can’t help but pray,
As I chuck another meal away, I can’t help but pray,
For just one dinner-time without selling my soul…
Time for your food, and I’m not in the bastard mood,
As the fish fingers are met with a grunt.
I take a deep breath, and smile through the mess,
She’s being a right little… runt.
It might be the toddler’s dinner, but I’m not getting thinner,
As I scoff another plate of rejected koftas.
But starting from now, I’ve made a new vow,
At 5pm, I’ll be hitting the tea-time vodkas*.
At 5pm, I’ll be hitting the tea-time vodkas*.
*and gin. obviously.
#teatimevodka
#ginforthewin
#yesIsaidRunt
😀 I'm completely immune now to any insults about my lovingly prepared meal. Water off a duck's back….but if they think I'll be making tomorrow's curry specially mild just for them, they can think again…
ReplyMwahahaha x spice that baby up :))
Reply#runt mwah ha ha ha ha!!!! You know what I mainly hate about my children's eating habits. Sandwiches! ARGH!!! Just eat the bread and the filling. Not one or the other. You bloody runt xxx
ReplyI know – even worse when they do it to pizza… JUST EAT THE BASTARD THING AND NO I DON'T WANT UR DISCARDED CHEESE. thanks.
ReplyBrill, I'd just give them the Vodka! : )
ReplyI like your style 😉
ReplyMine has started saying he only likes pizza from Pizza Express. EVERYWHERE we go. It's really embarrassing…
ReplyBut is good taste 😉 #noneofthatcheapshit lol :)))
ReplyAnd look at your little lady – butter wouldn't melt! The one downside to kids being fussy is us polishing it off – the waist can't take any more of it!
ReplyThat's how they get you…. with their curls and their chubby cheeks… bastards… lol xx
ReplyMy 2-yo has turned into such a picky eater. Maybe tea-time vodkas are the answer!
Replyyes. I think they could be :))) x
ReplyMade me laugh so much! Thanks for the giggle x
Replyha 😉 you are welcome, thanks for the comment xxx
ReplyMy toddler-daughter expertly spotted and ferreted out a pea from her pasta tonight. Providing I don't get carried away with creativity she will eat pasta, but does like her beige meals!
ReplyThey have the eyesight of hawks! Lol 😉 mine is refusing pasta at the moment despite its beigeness… *tuts and rolls eyes*
Reply