Toddlers are liars,
I’m speaking the truth.
They lie about everything,
And blame it on youth.
They decieve quite instinctively,
Out of the house or at home.
No I didn’t do my hair today
Using your lipstick as a comb.
I didn’t eat the cat treats,
And I didn’t just fart.
I didn’t use all the colouring pens
To mural my entire arm.
I didn’t put a banana
in the washing machine just to see…
If my pants would come out yellow,
And make my poos all ‘Narna-y’.
I’m not bastard hungry,
I don’t need a nap.
No I didn’t stamp on that baby,
And give that Labrador a slap.
I didn’t hide the car keys,
The wall’s always had those markings.
I peed on the floor, but I don’t need a wee!
So just stop bloody-well asking.
Yes, toddlers are liars,
It can’t be denied.
They don’t even hide it,
They’re proud of their lies.
Whether fibs or big whoppers,
Don’t be taken in…
You can’t trust a toddler,
But you can always trust gin.
in the washing machine just to see…
If my pants would come out yellow,
And make my poos all ‘Narna-y’.
I’m not bastard hungry,
I don’t need a nap.
No I didn’t stamp on that baby,
And give that Labrador a slap.
I didn’t hide the car keys,
The wall’s always had those markings.
I peed on the floor, but I don’t need a wee!
So just stop bloody-well asking.
Yes, toddlers are liars,
It can’t be denied.
They don’t even hide it,
They’re proud of their lies.
Whether fibs or big whoppers,
Don’t be taken in…
You can’t trust a toddler,
But you can always trust gin.
#toddlersareliars
#ginspeaksthetruth
#gin
My toddler version 2.5 has a matching gouge over his left eye at the moment. It baffles me when you ask them if they need to go for a week and 2 minutes later their pants are wet or you have a new yellow stain on the carpet. Great poem.
ReplyToddlers tell pork-pies and no mistake. Great poem. 🙂 x
Love it! They do nothing wrong. Nothing. Ever.
ReplyHaha you are so talented! Love this. And totally true. My little one is described perfectly in this. 😉 x
ReplyLittle buggers!! They also don't take their nappies off and redecorate the bedroom *sob sob sob*
Well i would be proud she is so bright! My eldest hasn't quite got the concept yet and is still a bit confessional – bloody idiot! x
Ha ha never believe a word that comes out of their mouth 😉