Toddlers are Liars

Toddlers are liars,

I’m speaking the truth.
They lie about everything,
And blame it on youth.
They decieve quite instinctively,
Out of the house or at home.
No I didn’t do my hair today
Using your lipstick as a comb.
I didn’t eat the cat treats,
And I didn’t just fart.
I didn’t use all the colouring pens
To mural my entire arm.
I didn’t put a banana
in the washing machine just to see…
If my pants would come out yellow,
And make my poos all ‘Narna-y’.
I’m not bastard hungry,
I don’t need a nap.
No I didn’t stamp on that baby,
And give that Labrador a slap.
I didn’t hide the car keys,
The wall’s always had those markings.
I peed on the floor, but I don’t need a wee!
So just stop bloody-well asking.
Yes, toddlers are liars,
It can’t be denied.
They don’t even hide it,
They’re proud of their lies.
Whether fibs or big whoppers,
Don’t be taken in…
You can’t trust a toddler,
But you can always trust gin.



  1. Thomo85 September 30, 2014
  2. Mardy Kerrie September 30, 2014
  3. SarahMummy September 30, 2014
  4. Katie @mummydaddyme September 30, 2014
  5. Seychellesmama October 1, 2014
  6. Hurrah For Gin October 3, 2014
  7. Tom IdeasforDads October 5, 2014

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