Pregnant near Christmas…
What a f@*king shit.
No boozy parties, just excessive amounts of smarties,
While only your dressing gown will fit.
Pregnant at Christmas…
What a bastard arse.
Just half a glass of champers, while you re-arrange the pampers,
Your glam factor just dropped by half.
Pregnant for Christmas…
What a twatty plan.
Everyone else is up to sunrise, while you’re comatose via mince-pies,
Adding to your already impressive span.
Pregnant this Christmas…
What a stupid idea.
Sod the festive magic, while I’m feeling this tragic,
F@*k Band Aid, f@*k Elf on the Shelf, f@*k Reindeer.
Pregnant over Christmas…
I’m really rather bereft.
So thank Baby Jesus himself, that by the bloody twelfth,
I’ll only have one-pissing-week left.
#HappyF@*kingChristmas
#BahHumbug
#PregnantNearChristmas
Maybe I read it all wrong but I'm really excited for you now 🙂
ReplyYea! Almost baby time! Hope you're all ready! Imagine all that booze you can have in Xmas day!! Woohoo!
Should have planned that better 😉 x
Had all 3 of mine at Christmas gave up now! Lol you have breastfeeding to look forward to
ReplyI'm assuming that's an elbow and not a boob hanging out? Good luck, hope it's not too late (all of mine were at least 10 days – just to cheer you up) x x x
Joy
Snigger. Sooooooon though, and then you'll have the joy of…more constipation and leaking…oh. Oh, and a baby! And sweet, sweet gin x
ReplyGood god you never fail to make me laugh! Your way with words surrounding the joy of pregnancy is just something else! Not long now!
Happy flipping Christmas! Hopefully it will pop out before the big day and you'll be able to have a small celebratory/ medicinal gin to celebrate!
This is brilliant… I got my bundle out on Christmas morning so it was all ok…
Reply