Pregnant near Christmas (what a f@*king shit)

Pregnant near Christmas…
What a f@*king shit.
No boozy parties, just excessive amounts of smarties,
While only your dressing gown will fit.

Pregnant at Christmas…
What a bastard arse.
Just half a glass of champers, while you re-arrange the pampers,
Your glam factor just dropped by half.

Pregnant for Christmas…
What a twatty plan.
Everyone else is up to sunrise, while you’re comatose via mince-pies,
Adding to your already impressive span.

Pregnant this Christmas…
What a stupid idea.
Sod the festive magic, while I’m feeling this tragic,
F@*k Band Aid, f@*k Elf on the Shelf, f@*k Reindeer.

Pregnant over Christmas…
I’m really rather bereft.
So thank Baby Jesus himself, that by the bloody twelfth,
I’ll only have one-pissing-week left.



  1. Tas D December 9, 2014
  2. Californian Mum in London December 9, 2014
  3. Donna December 9, 2014
  4. Linzy Law December 9, 2014
  5. joy December 9, 2014
  6. Steph Douglas December 9, 2014
  7. Mrs Meldrum December 10, 2014
  8. SarahMummy December 10, 2014
  9. Rachel Shaw December 15, 2014

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