You’ve had marmite on your face for a week. You’ve known about it since day 2.
You got waaaaay too excited about the launch of CBeebies Land.
It’s 4pm. You’re drinking #secretangrywine out of a Hello Kitty Cup and eating a Terry’s Chocolate Orange like an apple. An apple of rage. This is a ‘good’ day.
The browsing history on your iPhone consists of a topical selection of 30 minute Peppa Pig specials, a recipe for hidden-vegetable-lasagne and several articles about how to get some [email protected]*king sleep.
You haven’t sat on the sofa before 7pm since 2012.
You smell a bit funky and your mind has gone a bit wonky… Like the raisins that have been abandoned in time behind the radiators of life…
Most days your hair makes you look like a homeless person. You quite like it.
Uggs or flip-flops. These are the only real choices left in your life now… the toddler decides everything else… EVERYTHING. ELSE.
[email protected]*k knows what day of the week it is, but you can recall every word to every nursery rhyme KNOWN TO MAN in seconds…. even the lesser known verses of The Wheels on the Bus. *high five* #proud
It’s not that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to go out for the night… It’s that you don’t even want to anymore. This is far worse.
Nothing says I’ve completely forgotten that I used to be an actual professional person responsible for real stuff, like a Pirate-Fairy-Onesie-Dress-Up Day. But you shitting love it.
Number 4 & 10 are so true. Going out involves so much prep & good timing, it's better to stay in (the couch is your friend-after her/his majesty the Toddler is in bed, of course).Reply
Heehee 😉 #agreed!Reply
I often try and pass off my unwashed and unbrushed hair by scraping it with my fingers into a top knot bun thing a la those girls on made in chelsea….. in my mind it works and that's what matters. Totally agree about going out.Reply
I think it's only what it looks like in your mind that matters in everything to be fair. In my mind. I can wear shorts. Now that's scary. :/ lol xReply
I'm excited about the opening of CBeebies Land and my youngest is 6! lolReply
Lol! *highfive* xReply
I had the idea of a CBeebies quiz for adults at a dinner party I once held (distant memory) thinking this would be Hilarious. Thank god I didn't do it. But that's how far I'd gone….lost in the 'land of the toddler' where I thought other adults may have found this to be OKAY. It was So Not Ok.Reply
Pahahahaha x well I would have liked it! Lol xxReply
Lol I bet if we did a 'Raisin behind thd radiator/sofa/beds' inventory we would be able to open our own raisin shop 😉Reply
Oh yes… well that's the thing about raisin kids… (sorry. had to. I'll go away now.)Reply
Now I have a 4-year old, I look back on these years as the calm before the storm that is the threenager. Although my footwear of choice is still uggs or flip-flops… and I am ok with that 🙂Reply
Heehee :)) glad you can finally COMMENT! woohoo! lol xxReply
Love this! I've got a similar post coming soon but it's not as good as yours 🙂 xReply
ha 😉 I shall read it when it comes along then :))) xReply
Hahaa oh this is all so true!! I went to work about a year ago with some white stuff on my shoulder (I *think* it was milk) and noone pointed it out at all. I only realised when I got home. And Cbeebies land….I cannot wait!!!Reply
I love that… lol xReply
I went to work with 1yr old "drank my morning milk too fast and belched it back up over mum" stains down my top. I knew they were there. When I got to work I realised that I also had a bib velcro'd to my arse. The sick wasnt noticed. Is that a win?!Reply
Ignorance is bliss :)) lol xxReply
You wait till 4pm?!?! 😉Reply
*sniggers* I consider myself very restrained. 🙂Reply
An apple of rage ha ha! Things are so bad with me I'm eating the dark chocolate orange that an extremely erroneous Santa gave me. XxReply
It's gotta be done… #nolookingback lol xReply
Haha Apple of Rage made me LOL! Thank you for the laugh this morning – I can identify with this so much! XReply
teehee – thank you for reading xxxReply
Just went to find out more about the cbeebies land! I'm an SUPER excited now!!!Reply
ha! *whispers* me too! lol xxReply
You had me by point 2. By point 3 I was looking for the car keys to go and buy a a chocolate orange, until I realised I'd been drinking #secretangrywine too 😉Reply
Hats it when that happens… Lol xxReply
Studio Kaufmann23 February 2014 18:57
ha ha these are so funny and TRUE!! You know you need to get out more when you start having erotic thoughts about CBB presenters wearing bright blue dungarees…..come over to my blog and let me know if you think Mr Darcy exists in real life?Reply
Ha 😉 sadly… We've all been there during the real low points! Lol xxReply
So funny and so true, esp points 5&10! Have to admit 're hair dry shampoo is a life saver for me these days . XReply
Oh yes! Many a day that has made my fringe almost acceptable in public 😉 lol xxReply
Haha I too rock the living dead look. Wait until she works out TIVO – ours is full of Scooby doo. It just gets worse muwhahahaha xxReply
ha! *cries a bit* xxxReply
Lmao my 6yr old asked me if I was alright cos my hair looked nice not messy like usual. She said it very loudly in the school playground in front if all the yummy mummy's.Reply
What a little darling! lol x I dread these days… I thought parenthood was all done in pyjamas… #fail LOL xReply
Love it. Yep…yep…yep…. Ah sod it, yep x11; been there, done all of them and am wearing the stained t-shirt (that shows my nipples because I forgot to wear a bra) to prove it. Great post hun. There's a MADs nomination coming your way xxReply
hahaha – sad to say even after writing this I'm still sat here in a crusty onesie on the floor eating a snickers… lol xx and Thank you misses! Hope we both get to the MADs this year :))) xReply
Roll on popping this baby out so I can get back on the #Secretangrywine
I miss wine…. it makes toddler days so much easier!!Reply